The unusually strong gravity golf excuse
This excuse gives a short shot a very large explanation. The joke imagines that the forces governing the whole round changed just enough to interfere with your ball. “Today” does much of the work: it makes the complaint sound like a temporary course condition that a better-prepared golfer might somehow have anticipated. The scale of the explanation, compared with the small problem of one disappointing shot, is what makes the alibi deliberately ridiculous.
When to use the joke
Save it for a ball that stopped well short of the intended destination, or use it as the final word on a round full of short approaches. A calm delivery fits the matter-of-fact wording. The numbered sharing card keeps the exact line available for a later callback in your group chat.
Choose another alibi
The Luck collection offers more alibis about fate, bounces and the ball having other ideas. Open that collection when the joke needs a bigger explanation than an ordinary equipment complaint.